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A Note from the Publisher: 'Victoria Roflower,' prolific author and reformed Cat Burglar, is, and understandably so, now a very quiet recluse, rarely coming into the public eye. This is the only photo we have ever found that seems just may be of her. Who knows, maybe its Russell Muir? Fortunately, though Victoria only communicates via carrier pigeon and untraceable telephone numbers and an email address, she loves the chase of us trying to find out just what she looks like. If this is not her, please let us know. Thank you.
Victoria's latest 'carrier pigeon 'contact, ( a small homing pigeon called 'Periwinkle Pete') delivered the following self-penned BIO for her readers.
" Victoria is a former Cat Burglar held back by her inability not to fall off roofs. Victoria now enjoys playing poker, adult coloring books and duck herding. She is now a cuddly recluse, but her few friends tell her that she can still be a little dangerous and bit bizarre! She enjoys sniffing whisky, digging peat, and the hunting of the Haggis. (Except on Sundays) Victoria has a post-graduate degree in folk-lore and lock picking, and is obsessed with Paw Patrol & vintage episodes of Postman Pat. Physically, Victoria used to look like Jess's cat, sleek and black, a miniature cat-woman even, but is now ever-so-slightly overweight. Otherwise she is in good shape. She grew up in a middle class neighborhood, being raised by hamsters, after her father and mother left in a pea-green caravan when she was still very young.
Victoria has two children with a long worn out but well-loved and now departed husband, Finley. These being: Eden Edgeware Vanbruden, aged 19 and Peyton Pilkington Partridge, aged 21. Both are unwell.
Victoria's best friend is a former health center receptionist called Valeria Frock-Hampton. They are inseparable and enjoy sherry and extreme ironing together every other Tuesday night. Every OTHER Tuesday Night, Victoria and her Co-Author, Prof. Vinnie-Ray Faraday, meet together at 'The Pig & Ball-bearing,' a small pub on the edge of Dartmoor, play marbles until midnight, and then are 'locked in' to work until dawn on the Jingle and Bell and the Music Town Gang Series of Books.
will be appearing in schools all over the United Kingdom. Victoria has a FULL and up-to-date DBS check.
YOU CAN BOOK VICTORIA & /OR HER CO-AUTHOR, PROF. VINNIE-RAY FARADAY HERE:
"Good morning Ms Roflower,
Just wanted to say that my 8 year old daughter had a fantastic time with the Professor. I can tell this by her lack of breathing when telling me what happened at school that day!! He has definitely stirred her creative thinking. She says she would love to help the professor write more stories and she has already created her own pseudonym, Professor Pickles McVon Bubbles.
Thank you so much, Kind regards…etc.’"
"The most magnificent and intelligent and amusing matador I have ever met! His knowledge of particle physics is neither here nor there, or sometimes both here and there depending on where and when you are looking, and he communicates this well to attentive youngsters from 3 years and up."
"Professor Vintente Raymondo Faraway came to Kennoway Nursery to read the new book he had written. The children really enjoyed it as he was very enthusiastic . He interacted well with the children and was very entertaining. He engaged with the children very well and kept the children interested ,playing different characters and doing lots of singing." | Kennoway Nursery Staff
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I might come, I might not, it depends on my nerves and how much makeup I have left. Anyway, if it's not me, it will be the professor. Until then, then, All my love from Tuesday night at The Pig & Ball-bearing,
Ms. Victoria Roflower
The world-famous and former failed Cat-Burglar and now much applauded author-recluse, Prof. Vintente Raymondo Faraday, & invisible CIA agent Harley Frick, present and introduction to Jingle & Ben & The Music Town Gang, 'Thin Places & Fat Dragons'